In the starless night a deep sadness before the snshine comes

melissa.jpgPhoto taken by Kenichi T. Serino

Melissa Douman

Slice of Life

He Enters

Alone, surrounded by a buzz of excitement, I sit. Voices of chatter all around. Not burning with laughter, nor do I shiver with tears. I feel warm and strangely content.

I am like a flower in the springtime- innocently about to bloom. Eager to experience showers of sadness, convinced that only then, will I experience the true joy of sunshine.

The muffled voices become quiet, almost as though someone turned down the volume. My eyes dart over to follow a light, now illuminating a heavenly figure standing in the doorway.

Tall, dark and breathtakingly handsome, you confidently glide across the room heading in my direction. Your scent, helped by a turning fan, is carried to engulf my lungs with a warm, touch-of-spice, brutally manly and oh-so-sexy smell.

My heart- pumping. My pulse- racing. My temperature rising like an ignited coal, getting hotter and hotter- burning with a born passion.

Just then the sound of strawberry flavored bubblegum bursting in my ears returns me to the dull reality of my surroundings.

Trying to resist but failing, I steal one more glance. And as though you felt my lustrous stare penetrating every inch of your seated figure of perfection, you look up. Our eyes lock only your ebony’s don’t return the same ravishing look. Your smile sweet but brash.

In an attempt to mask my flustered cheeks, I look down. I realise that the only way to escape this pleasurable torture is to vacate the building. I gingerly make my way to the rooms exit.

The weeks that follow seem to be the most memorable. My feelings growing like a well-looked after plant that is routinely watered by our inevitable meetings.

Pondering the image of your lips caressing mine sends jolts of excitement through my veins. It makes me feel like an escaped convict running through a field decorated with golden flowers- free, full-of-life and inspired with hope.
It is a desire that I reflect even though secretly I try to deny it.

copy-of-s6000093.jpg Photo By Melissa Douman

Suddenly a breeze tickles my arms allowing goose bumps to gather. The grass starts to whisper as it sways from side to side. The warm sun gone.

I feel afraid. My throat feels uncomfortable, almost as though someone were choking it from the inside. Lightning flashing before my eyes. The truth, stripped naked of all illusions and false pretences becomes as clear as the rain- now pouring relentlessly.

The echo of your voice that is to forever change in the way that my ears are trained to hear it, resounds the way that thunder drones on for seconds that feel like hours.
My eyes resembling the darkened sky. Never again will it see the light it once knew. My heart experiencing the blow of every raindrop, much the same way a vampire feels a stake being driven through its heart. Never again will it beat to the same rhythmic tune it had so enjoyed.

My pillow drenched from the 300 tears I cry. I’m feeling empty even though I am strangley so full of chocolate. Soaked from the showers, with nowhere to run or hide, I lie here alone, wishing for the comfort only a strong pair of arms holding me would bring. Settling for my limp blanket instead.

The starless night seeming like an eternity. My soul numb!

The sound of a bird singing arouses my senses that have become so numb. Though soft, still audible, the splendor and beauty of the melody breathes life into my aching heart.

The rays of sunlight treacle through a crack in my frosted window allowing the frozen blood occupying my veins to start flowing.

I open my eyes to see a born light I once tried to deny. Then I realise how blessed I am to have you the way that I do.

Life has given me a greater gift than any I had ever received. It has given me morning- the start of a new day.

I see the purpose and for the first time I look beyond your mask and I see you. You who will look beyond the cosmetic paste that I hide behind. You who will see deep into my soul. You who will know my fears. You who will always be.

It is because of this gift that I feel whole. I have no regrets. The selfish desire washed by the light.
Reality is never perfect and some things may never be. Dreams are always perfect and there things will always be.
I am grateful for this feeling, I am happy for this chance. Finding you has given new meaning. Alas I feel the joy only true sunshine brings.


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